Whispers of Memory
by Hypocritical-Hime
Summary: A dying Tsunade dreams and reflects on her life - her joys, her memories her sorrows...and most of all, the presence of one who was always there, and with him, the kind of love that only comes once.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Whispers of Memory

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto (we know if I did that Jiraiya wouldn't have gone and DIED like that and Sasuke would probably be scrubbing floors at some brothel)

**Summary Notes: **Crappy, dramatic title, I know. I'm testing the waters with this one; it's my first time writing these two like this after all, and I don't have the confidence or time to write awesome, longer stories like some of the awesome authors that do the wonderful Jiraiya/Tsunade. That, and I'm just better with shorter description like things. Obviously, I'm making it a bit harder for myself by making little oneshot thingies based from song lyrics.

Pre-warning; these are not in any set timeline. There'll be younger and there'll be older at random intervals. Comments appreciated...and do tell me if it gets too Jiraiya/Tsunade. -chuckle-

_--_

_Inspiration: "Maybe, I'll find out a way to make it back someday. Towards you, to guide you…and if a greater weight shall fall, and fall upon us all, then I hope there's something out there who can bring me back to you…" - The Calling_

A harsh cough broke the silence of the room, followed by a shallow intake of breath that caused the Rokudaime Hokage to frown, turning to observe the elderly woman as she slept feverishly, his blue eyes shadowed with worry as he watched her chest rise and fall, struggling for each breath.

It had started as a persistent cough, something that could have easily been fixed had it been treated early. They'd all begged with her to see a medic, tried to get her to let Shizune or Sakura examine her. Hell, he'd even tried to order her in his new position as Hokage to get herself examined, (That hadn't ended well either; even sick, his baa-chan still packed one hell of a punch). She'd declined all of their entreaties though, and had pushed on until she had quite literally collapsed. And by then, it was too late.

Tsunade, Godaime Hokage, the last Sannin and, until his death ten years back, known as Hime, closest friend and lover to Jiraiya-sama, was dying.

She lay in her bed, sleeping feverishly, dreaming. As he watched her, Naruto had to wonder what she dreamt about. What did the dying dream about? Did they dream of their lives, their imminent death, lost loved ones? Did they reflect on why they'd chosen to die?

He might have been dense at times, but Naruto wasn't completely stupid. He loved Tsunade-baachan and had seen, most acutely, just what the death of his old sensei had brought about in her. She'd become distant, quieter, over the years, holding everyone at arm's length. In a way, she was like Kurenai had been when Asuma had died, yet it just seemed…so much different at the same time. Really, as much as it hurt, he hadn't been all that shocked to see her choose this path…to pass away quietly, to finally leave the world that she had given so much to, and that had, in turn, taken so much from her.

When Jiraiya had died, that giving and taking had become complete.

It was selfish and cruel to try and force someone to cling to life when they were tired of it. Really, this was no less than she deserved. No less than both of them deserved.

Naruto smiled softly as he stepped out of the room. Those two were just like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **...I don't own Jiraiya, erm, I mean, Naruto.

**Summary/Notes: **Was watching that part where he bares his scar - hubbahubba old man - and watching Tsunade's expressions, my overactive mind went into plot mode.

_--_

_Inspiration: "I need you like water, like breath, like the rain. I need you like mercy from Heaven's gates. There's a freedom in your arms, that carries me through, I need you…" - Leann Rimes_

When Jiraiya first bared the horrific memento of his second near escape with death, Tsunade felt as though she'd been dumped in boiling water, and thrown in an icy cavern all at once. Her mouth had gone dry - _God, he was still as sexy as ever, not bad for an old guy, _the naughty part of her had muttered, much to her annoyance - but it was the way her heart clenched at the sight of the scar that really had her caught.

It wasn't the sight of the physical disfigurement itself that had her in silent agony though.

It had been the way he'd casually spoken of his death, as if it was of little significance. The way he'd almost teasingly recounted the day she'd beaten him within an inch of his life, as if the idea of him losing his life was of no importance to anyone. She'd never really thought about it until that moment; it had just…never been something she'd believed would ever happen.

Jiraiya could die one day.

She could lose him.

The thought was so astonishingly painful that Tsunade had to close her eyes tightly to prevent the sudden onslaught of fear and anguish, and hinder the desire to throw herself at him and beat him mercilessly for daring to even mention his death.

_She could not lose him. _

Even if it killed her to admit it, she needed the big idiot. If he died, the one, entire reason her life still had light in it would vanish.

She did end up throwing herself at him, later that evening. But rather than the beating she'd been preparing herself for - and the beating he steeled himself for - she'd ended up in his arms on an entirely different note.

"You dumbass," she mumbled against his jacket, small but ever so powerful hands clenching the material around his back. She felt him shift in surprise, before his arms rested around her shoulders in a familiar embrace. He didn't ask any questions; he didn't tease her or try anything perverted; he just stood there, holding her and smiling a small, bemused and slightly playful smile.

"Yeah, but I'm your dumbass, Hime. And you'll never get rid of me."

It certainly wasn't some morbidly sappy speech about never leaving her, but for Tsunade, it was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **_I still think it should be called "Jiraiya". But heh, it's still Naruto, and I don't own it._

**Summary/Notes: **_Eh, I couldn't stay away for too long, and despite exams, have a crapload of ideas running through my head. Technically, I should be studying, but I've been studying all day, so I thought, why not take a break? Don't know if it was worth it though; I seem to have this thing for writing Tsunade in a gentler, more vulnerable way, particularly if it involves Jiraiya's presence being the "gentler", so to speak. Yeah, I know, corny, but it just seems to click for me. Comments appreciated._

**Inspiration: Anytime you need a friend, I will be here. You'll never be alone again, so don't you fear. Even if you're miles away, I'm by your side. So don't you ever be lonely. Love will make it alright. -Mariah Carey**

Thunder crashed over the sleeping village of Konoha, causing the blond woman to jump violently in her seat. Goddamnit, she hated thunderstorms. Always had, and though she knew it was probably a little immature to still fear the crashes and flashes at her age, she just…didn't like them. Some things you never grew out of, and for Tsunade, a fear of thunderstorms was one of them. The darkness, the ominous rumbles, the bitter, jagged streaks of white and gold across the sky; it just seemed unnatural. Like a bringer of bad omens.

Not only that, but they made her feel isolated. Well, more than she generally was. As if every ominous crash was mocking her loneliness, taunting her with the fact that she was missing possibly the one being who actually knew, and cared, about stupid little fears like this one. Only, said person wasn't around currently; he'd been gone for near over a month now on another information gathering mission. To assist her, of course.

"Stupid baka-chan," she mumbled, twitching horribly as another flash of bitter white illuminated her office. Sighing in an attempt to keep her teeth from chattering, Tsunade wrapped her arms around herself, abandoning her paperwork as she paced the large room that made up the Hokage's office, wincing with every new crash and flicker outside before finally pausing to gaze out over the village.

"Stupid baka-chan," she muttered again, resting her forehead against the window and closing her eyes, exhaling heavily. Really, she had no one to blame but herself for his absence; she had been the one to ask for his assistance on this mission, after all. She could have had him here, comforting her, distracting her on this dreary night, humming soothing nonsense to calm her agitated state while he held her in one of his bear-hugs, like he had when they were younger. Hell, she'd even settle for being teased, if only to have him nearby. It was ridiculous really, that she could be reduced to this state, simply because she didn't have Jiraiya's presence to soothe her. Utterly ridiculous. Some strong, female Hokage she was.

She missed him though. She couldn't help it. Tsunade wanted Jiraiya back home. In the very least, she could stop worrying about him then. Stupid baka-chan, making her worry like he did, and then having the nerve to apologise when she rounded on him while grinning that mile-wide, naughty yet unfairly adorable grin of his.

With another sigh - and a wince at another crash of thunder - Tsunade opened her eyes, only to yelp in shock when she was met with another face. A slightly cocked head, the achingly familiar grin she'd only just been musing on, obsidian eyes narrowed in mischief, though they were somewhat shadowed by snowy hair rendered into a rather drenched state. Despite herself, Tsunade couldn't help but snicker, and said snickers evolved into full-blown gales of laughter as she opened her window to let him in.

Her baka-chan was by her side again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, nor does Jiraiya (goddamnit).

**Summary Notes: **Ugh, I have these ideas, yet I don't know how to get them down half the time! On top of that, my last ever year of schooling is about to start - so I'll be killing myself with work and trying to update in between, but if I don't for ages, don't worry. I haven't forgotten…this one probably should have been number three, but hey. -shrug- Oh, and I was never certain what age the sannin were when they achieved their ranks - genin, chuunin, jounin - so I took a guess. If I'm wrong though, tell me. Comments much appreciated, as always.

Call this, maybe, the first of what would be many similar occasions up to and including what was in the last chapter.

--

**Inspiration: "He promised that the rains would pass and the day would soon be here, and I never was afraid because, he's always there… " - Unknown**

Tsunade quivered violently, her eyes darting about the cavern, her every sense as edgy as a rabbit's. Team Sarutobi's mission to the Hidden Village of the Waves had not been particularly important, and as such, they had been allowed to proceed at a relatively easy pace. Well, had been, until the weather had turned. And now, they were forced to seek shelter in a dreary, cold cave, complete with leaky crevice and the creepy sound of water hitting stone.

Alright, so maybe it wasn't _that _creepy, but for the young genin, soon to be chuunin, it really was not helping her case. She couldn't help it; she didn't like storms, and being forced to spend the night as good as outside and in one…

Lightning flashed, illuminating the cave, and Tsunade muffled a whimper, shaking violently in her bed roll. Her eyes darted around the cavern, eyeing the sleeping forms of Sarutobi-sensei and Orochimaru across from her - how the hell did they manage to sleep through this? - before resting on the third member of the team.

Normally, Tsunade would spend most of her time viewing the snowy-haired boy with playful disgust, if only because he was a pervert, and because it made him pout. It was hilarious when he pouted, and, she admitted, downright cute. Hell, she'd even settle for teasing said pout from him now, if only to soothe her frayed nerves. And, she had to admit, he looked awfully…well…safe to her at the moment. Sprawled on his back, silvery bangs splayed across his face, breathing in what appeared to be the deepest of sleeps.Peaceful, protecting, strong and safe…

"Jiraiya?" she whispered, before she could stop herself. He stirred in response, and she tried again, a shiver running through her frame at an ominous rumbling outside.

"Baka-chan? You awake?"

That one got a grunt, and his sleeping features twisted into a rebellious pout. Whether or not he had heard though, she couldn't tell, but his expression very nearly elicited a giggle from her. She quelled the urge by frowning, allowing the simmering annoyance at his lack of response seep into her already frayed temper. Stupid baka, why wouldn't he respond? It wasn't as if their mission had been particularly exhausting! Ha, she bet he was ignoring her on purpose!

With a quiet humph, Tsunade hugged herself, turning her back on him. She stared at the rain outside, a scowl still painted on her delicate features. Fine, if he wasn't going to answer her, then she didn't need him. It was just a stupid storm, and she was a mature, intelligent, brave fourteen year old woma-

A loud crash of thunder sounded outside, so loud and ferocious that the very earth seemed to shake from its foundations. The cave seemed to shake with it, the ear-splitting sound echoing through her frame. All thoughts of maturity and bravery flew from the girl's head, and with a sound that was somewhere between a muffled sob and a whimper, she instinctively scurried back from the entrance, burying her head in her bed roll and shivering violently. So it was fair to say that Tsunade very nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden pressure against her back, and would have lashed out at it had a heavy arm not draped itself over her, preventing her from lashing out and oddly enough, drawing her in.

"If you hit me, Tsunade, I'm gonna make fun of you so bad for this when we get back to Konoha. And I'll never make you feel better during a thunderstorm ever again." Jiraiya's voice was a low grumble, a foreshadowing of what his voice would become as he reached maturity. Though at that moment, it was merely a sleep-heavy, exasperated mumble, there was a tinge of affection among the annoyance that warmed the girl, even as his presence soothed her agitation in the way only the best of friends could.

There was another rumble outside, causing the girl to shiver and shuffle backwards into the warmth of her friend. She felt his sleepy chuckle against her back, and the arm tightened. Briefly, she had a moment of paranoia, wondering if he would try anything perverted. He didn't though, and she felt herself nodding off into the realm of sleep, enough to wonder if she was imagining his sleepy murmur.

"We're safe now, Hime-chan."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I'm plotting to own it. I'm going to cause Kishimoto's downfall, I swear, I will. Kishi-chan ain't seen vindictive and vengeful until he's seen me. I'm going to fry his brains and then steal the rights to Naruto so I can make some forbidden-will-resurrect-characters-who-didn't-deserve-to-die-jutsu and then shove it up--er, did I just say any of that?

**Summary Notes: **Come, we all knew this had to happen some time. On another note though, if you didn't guess, I currently pile grievous hate on Kishimoto. I mean, I KNEW Asuma was going to die - I do read the manga - but watching it on the anime, and then literally watching Kurenai's entire heart and soul shatter into pieces…hoo boy, I don't cry much, but the moment I saw her fall to her knees and heard her sobs, and then flashbacked to that episode before he left where it has him walking down the street and smiling and cuts to her watering the poppies with a tender smile…I don't like Kishimoto no more. On that though, if I manage to get around my schoolwork, I am hoping to start a multi-chapter Asuma/Kurenai fic, set in their younger years. However, I am struggling a bit with a non-cliché plot. Which is where I ask y'all for help - questions like, the hell do we know about her clan? Is it too cliché for them to have been teammates? Would it be wrong to have them in some kind of relationship when they were younger - I'm talking eighteen-twenty, you perverts -, would it work? And heh, I won't even ask for helpful ideas with a decent plot line, because that's damn lazy. I'll piece it together myself. Anyways, enough of my rabbiting on.

**Inspiration: "**Makes no sense to me - no it isn't clear but somehow you're always standing here. And something gets to me…it's that nothing is wrong." – Hilary Duff

---------------------

"Mmm…you know what, baka-chan? You're actually really useful sometimes."

A chuckle, low and wonderfully rumbly-like (was that even a word?) against her cheek was the answer. Despite herself, the sound made Tsunade grin in reply, and she opened her eyes to lazily to observe the clouds, the grin fading back to its former sleepy contentment as she allowed herself to be lulled by the feel of his well-muscled stomach rising and falling steadily under her head. Sleepy and lazy, relaxed and content. Only Jiraiya had the privilege of witnessing her in such a state.

He deserved nothing less though, when she forced herself to be honest and think about it. Even his current rescue of her from the tedious suffocation of paperwork, drill sergeant assistants and silly ass chuunin and genin was, as far as she was concerned, proof that the perverted sage was as wonderfully, gallantly kick-ass as the heroes in those soppy stories. Of course, Shizune would have both of their heads when they returned, but just for the moment, the Hokage wanted to forget that she was Hokage; she wanted to forget about the paperwork, the elders, the shinobi, the village…and just be. Just for a little while.

She started slightly at the light touch against her head, before allowing the gentle pressure of his fingers running through her hair, sighing softly as he lazily twirled the pale strands around scarred fingers. Most people would die for even accidentally getting so close, for touching her with such a familiar ease, yet for Jiraiya, she was the playful, gentle (and sometimes, not so gentle) kitten, as opposed to the fearsome, guarded tigress that she spent so much of her daily life being. Simply because he was her best friend, and had always been her best friend. They'd been through some rough times, and more often than not, she was nastier than she was nice to him, yet they always came out together at the other end. Thick and thin, hell and back, to Death's door…all that sappy bullcrap that the equally sappy romantic philosophers rambled on about.

But it was true. He was her one constant in life, the one person she could count on to always be there. Even when she'd disappeared for twenty odd years, left him hanging and then reunited with him, only to drug him and what not; he'd still, somehow, managed to resume his role as her best friend, her rock, that warm coal that was always burning, warm and bright, yet soft and comforting. Always there, even if she occasionally used him as a punching bag, or a target. Even though she'd said and done things to him that would, in most other cases, end a relationship of any kind in a heartbeat.

Her musings and her trek down memory lane brought her back to a question. The one question she always turned to when he was with her, or when she was alone and had nothing better to do except think. It hadn't troubled her as much as it once had, yet still, even now; she frowned as she thought of it. Remembered the memories it brought with it, clear as if they had been yesterday. Words that had actually made her, Tsunade, tremble in shock and fear on the inside at their utterance.

"_You're my best friend, Tsunade. But I love Konoha, and I'll do everything in my power to protect it. If you betray it; if you join Orochimaru…I'll kill you with my own hands."_

She hadn't taken him seriously at first, until she'd seen the dark look in his eyes. A look that had terrified her as much as the words had. Of course, it hadn't panned out like that; yet, she'd often turn the words over in her head, yet had never had the chance to ask him just how serious he'd been that night. Too many things had gotten in the way, and when she had the chance, she was too chicken to broach the subject.

"Tsunade? Hime, you alright?"

Tsunade started slightly at his voice, and belatedly attempted to school her features to their former contentment. It didn't work; he knew her far too well, and she'd never been able to keep something from him for too long.

"C'mon, Tsunade, tell me?"

Damn him. Damn him to hell. She sighed, turning her face so that her cheek rested against his stomach, affording a better view of his face. Better late than never, right?

"I…remember that night, before our fight with Orochimaru?" She felt his muscles tense slightly, and watched as his eyes went from the soft darkness of contentment to the more foreboding black of wariness. For a second, she wished she'd kept her mouth shut. She didn't particularly want to ruin the relaxed companionship of before, but there was no going back now.

"You…you said that night that if I joined Orochimaru, you'd…kill me. Was that…were you serious?" The last part was uttered in a quiet mutter, and she bit her lip, frowning uncomfortably yet refusing to break his gaze. Waiting, just waiting for a reply. It finally came, but it wasn't what she'd expected.

"Like I said that night, with my own hands." His voice was equally quiet, but then he smiled slightly and passed a hand through her hair. "But then I would have lain down beside you and died myself. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, knowing I'd been forced to kill the most important person in my world."

The tenderness in his dark eyes almost hurt. She didn't know what to say in reply, what she could do to break the tension in the air. As always though, he was her saving grace and too late, she realized the implications behind the naughty smirk that appeared on his features.

"Mind you," he drawled, "I might have been more agreeable to the drugging part of it if you'd-ow!"

Tsunade pulled back, hand still raised, but she grinned in a rare show of affection as she lay her head back down on his stomach, closing her eyes and snickering quietly at his piteous complaint.

"Even you aren't that lucky, pervy sage."

"Don't call me a pervy sage!"

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Peeeeervy sage."

"Flat-chested--I didn't mean it! Just don't hit there - you might need them one day…"

Oh yes, he was always her constant. And as annoying as he could be, words spoken and moments such as these were what she loved about him.

---

A/N: …well, shit. That ended up long. Damn it, Tsunade, must you constantly whisper the finer details of your memories into my brain? I suppose I deserve it though, neglecting you, and The Man, and the Teddy Bear and his Rose. (I'll leave y'all to guess who that refers to). I mean, who needs schoolwork, right Tsunade? Surely not me, who plans on following in your footsteps and joining the defence force of her country and becoming a kick-ass medic. Surely not. Er…comments appreciated, as always. (I'll end up doing an angsty one eventually, I promise.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I still loathe Kishimito for killing Asuma. And if it went my way, there'd be Tsunade/Jiraiya and Asuma/Kurenai spinoffs.

**Summary Notes: **Tsunade demanded light-hearted before I started on the angst ones. Probably because the angst one/s were messing with my already emotionally frayed state. Meh. Well, that, and the Man didn't like the idea of me posting a tear-jerker just before Christmas. Ain't he sweet?

**Inspiration: **Actually not a song, but rather, the genius Jiraiya/Tsunade shipper known as lovesrainscent. Inspiration from her fic, Syllables. Check her stuff out!

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He was never coming to a meeting again. Never.

Tsunade bit her lip, trying to focus on the fact that she was in an important meeting, with important people. Like the village elders. And the daimyo's ambassador. And trying, desperately, to ignore the dark, mischievous gaze that was fixed on her across the table. She refused to look at him, because if she did, she'd lose her carefully formulated thoughts on how much of an immature monster he was, and then she'd start giggling like a teenager. Or worse, jump him.

The meeting was going well, she supposed, though she'd hardly paid attention. Why? Because there was this one, distracting little problem. The god damn perve that was supposed to be her supportive former team-mate and friend obviously thought it was fun to play games with her while she tried to negotiate in a rational manner. And, well, it was rather difficult to think straight when said former team-mate's goddamn foot was feeling up your goddamned leg.

She struggled to listen as Koharu spoke, only to let out a strangled squeak as Jiraiya's foot moved an inch higher, toes lightly massaging her thigh. She felt her cheeks heating up, and dumping her vow to not look at him, glared at the Toad Sage in an attempt to quell his mischief without resorting to physical violence (because she really didn't want to alert any of the other room members to her 'predicament'); only to freeze at the expression on his face - the slight smile of mischief, the, Hell help her, smoldering darkness that…that…oh hell. She couldn't even think coherently any more. Muffling a whimper, she tried to shift away, trying vainly to nudge his foot away without arousing attention.

"Hokage-sama? Are you well? You appear rather flushed."

Damn. Damn. Damn. Triple freaking damn.

Tsunade wrenched her gaze from Jiraiya's, struggling to maintain her composure as she met Koharu's probing look.

"I…uh…"

"I do believe the temperature has risen slightly since the beginning of the meeting, Koharu-sama. Perhaps the Hokage is just suffering the effects. Am I right, _Hokage-sama?"_

Jiraiya's voice was practically a purr, and Tsunade wanted to die of mortification. _Suffering the effects?? _

_Oh, she was suffering alright, and he was going to suffer in the same slow, painful manner afterwards, even if his foot was back in the right place now._

_Koharu cleared her throat. "Shall we proceed then, Hokage-sama?"_

"_Yes, yes, pro-" Tsunade froze when something caressed her ankle. She could hear his soft laughter, and desperately, she prayed to the gods to grant her mercy, to end the meeting now, anything. A glance at the clock, and she gulped. Damn. Damn. Damn. He was so dead._

"_Pro-proceed," she said weakly._


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I pretend to own Jiraiya. And then I share him with the deserving on weekends.

**Summary Notes: **Hm…it appears I'm on a bit of a role. Perhaps it's because it's nearly the holidays? Maybe. Am I procrastinating school work to post this? Damn straight. I'd normally wait a week (or try to), but I couldn't help it. I needed to get this one free…then I can focus on he angs-I mean, figure how the hec I'll celebrate Christmas with these two. (That, and Tsunade decided to visit childhood memories. Fun).

**Inspiration: **A scene from Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch. I know, I should stop being lazy and use songs again. Don't worry, I will, but I couldn't find a song to suit this little quirky one. If you find one, tell me.

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"I'll pass better than you, baka-chan!"

"Sure you will. In a million years!"

"Take that back!"

"Make me. Nyah!"

"I can make you do anything I want!"

"…that's so dirty, Hime."

The white haired boy giggled, ducking her half-angry, half-playful swipe as they exited the Academy building. Genin exams were mere days away, and as such, the rivalry was beginning to heat up between the potential graduates.

It didn't mean they stopped being friends though. Sure, their argument was heated, childish, taunting. But when wasn't it? And under the dirty looks and playful swipes, Jiraiya and Tsunade were still friends. Just friends who argued a lot. It hardly helped that one was hot-tempered and the other delighted in stirring people up. But they were still friends.

"You're so perverted, baka-chan," Tsunade grumbled, tugging at his hair in light admonishment. She'd die before she actually admitted to the idea of liking it, but she did. Jiraiya's hair fascinated her; its snowy colour was nothing like she'd ever seen, and the fact that it looked so spiky, yet was so soft and thick, fascinated the girl.

He laughed and batted her hand away, and would have replied, had they not been interrupted by a voice behind them.

"And we all know _I'll _definitely pass the exam with the best marks."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She ignored Jiraiya's sidelong glance, turning around slowly to glare at the unwelcome intruder. Uchiha Hatsumo. Oh, hate, hate, hate; Tsunade despised the other girl, and not just because she was a first-grade cow that went out of her way to light Tsunade's already short fuse, and more often than not, was the sole reason Tsunade ended up with detention. No, she had to try and draw her best friend away from her too, and as far as she was concerned, that merited a placing in the top five of Tsunade's hit list. It hardly helped that she was little Miss Hot, something that enraged the coltish, self-conscious blonde immensely. Fortunately, Jiraiya wasn't as stupidly blind to pretty girls as he pretended to be. In fact, his loyalty to her as a friend was something Tsunade's young mind adored immensely, (even if she beat him up a little too often), and as a result, she often turned a blind eye to the pranks he played on Hatsumo.

"Who says?" she asked through gritted teeth, ignoring Jiraiya when he shuffled closer, placing a bony hand on her back in an attempt to keep her calm.

"Well, it's obvious. Everyone knows I'm the highest-scoring girl in our class." Hatsumo smirked, tossing her ebony hair back. Tsunade had a moment of insecurity, resisting the urge to comb her hand self-consciously through her messy, pale bangs. She heard Jiraiya's soft snicker of incredulity though, and that calmed her slightly.

"Even if you are," she said sweetly, "Who says I can't come out with the best scor-"

She felt Jiraiya jump slightly in surprise behind her, and she too, was startled – and infuriated – when the Uchiha girl interrupted her.

"Uh, no? You're a crappy ninja, and your style is crappy. You can't even use taijutsu properly yet!"

Considering they were hardly genin, that wasn't surprising, but Hatsumo's insult enraged Tsunade. She growled, fist rising as she made to pounce on the other girl, only to stop when Jiraiya's hand closed around her raised arm. She whipped around, glaring at him dangerously. He winced but held her tightly, shaking his white head and mouthing "It's not worth it."

"You'll never be as strong as Shodaime. And then Jiraiya won't be your friend no more."

Tsunade saw red as Hatsumo delivered the final blow, and Jiraiya gasped beside her. They both knew that Tsunade loved her grandfather dearly, and often suffered under the pressures she was forced to conform to as his granddaughter.

That did it. Baring her teeth, she gave Jiraiya the nastiest glare she could muster, a silent warning that if he didn't let go, she'd use him as the punching bag. It worked, because he gulped, black eyes widening as he let go.

"Go for it," he said innocently, holding his hands up.

Tsunade whipped around, hand pushing the sleeve of her other arm up as she stalked forward. "That does it, bitch!"

The words were a snarl as she launched forward, catching Jiraiya's grin out of the corner of her eye before she collided with the screaming Uchiha girl.

And that was the day that Jiraiya would often fondly reminisce during their sake nights as the day Tsunade proved that she would thwart them all in taijutsu.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I'm still working on that forbidden-bring-characters-back-who-didn't-deserve-to-die-jutsu of awesomeness, though as owner, KISHIMOTO should have the job of doing so for killing characters-who-shouldn't-have-died.

**Summary Notes: **Shorter than most, I guess. But I've always loved the concept of Jiraiya still loving his Hime and thinking her beautiful no matter what, because he's just sweet like that, and this song reflects that, methinks. The only challenge to this is...writing the damn thing from Tsunade's point of view.

**Inspiration:** You're still beautiful to me - can't ya see?

You'll always be so beautiful to me

Ya babe in every way - you're still beautiful to me-Bryan Adams

-------

Tsunade shifted, murmuring something incoherently as she felt a soft touch to her cheek. She frowned, half-rousing from her sleep as the gentle touch appeared again, this time in the form of a hand resting against her hair. Something brushed softly against her brow, smoothing the frown away, and Tsunade's nose twitched as she caught the scent of the person. Unbidden, her mouth twitched slightly.

Of course. Who else would have the guts to risk flying out the window if she woke up the wrong way?

Biting down on the smile that was still twitching at the corner of her lips, Tsunade slowly opened her eyes, fixing her intruder with a bleary glare.

"What do you want, baka?"

"You don't want me to answer that question, Tsunade-chan."

He grinned easily when she blushed, and one finger reached up to wipe at the smudge of ink on her cheek, lingering at the corner of her eye. She briefly considered biting his finger off for being so...assuming, but she couldn't be bothered. That, and if she did, he probably wouldn't let her have any of whatever was giving off that mouth-watering smell in the bag sitting by his knee.

There was something else about that smile that was making her a tad disconcerted, and in a fit of paranoia, Tsunade glanced at the mirror hanging on the left side of the wall, wondering if she had something other than ink on her face.

She froze at what she saw.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Triple damn.

The jutsu that she spent so much time carefully maintaining so as to retain her youthful appearance had, god forbid, slipped in her sleep. Damn, how deep had she been sleeping? It wasn't surprising, considering how overworked she was. And to be truthful, it hadn't slipped [I]that[/I] much, but it was enough for the lines around her eyes to be visible, for her cheeks to have hollowed...oh [I]god[/I]. And Jiraiya had [I]seen[/I] it. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Blushing hotly, Tsunade's hands instinctively flew into the hand signals that would renew the jutsu. Before she had even formed the first hand sign though, a large, calloused hand pressed gently, but firmly, over her own small, slender hands, stilling the movements. Embarrassed and just a little angry, Tsunade's eyes flew to his, only to pause at his expression. It wasn't a lecherous or taunting smile she saw though. It was...oddly gentle, and her breath caught slightly at the sparkle of...what? Reverance? Tenderness? Whatever it was, it was certainly an expression one didn't often see on the Perverted Sage, and it startled and melted her just enough to not hit him out of anger and mortification. (It was certainly better than the taunting, disgusted expression she often envisioned and, though she would never admit it, feared).

"Don't," he said quietly, "Not yet. It's just you and me here - just let it be. For me?"

She stared at him. For him? He [I]wanted[/I] her to look like this? He didn't care? He wasn't going to tease her?

Tsunade stiffened slightly when she felt his fingers touching the skin of her temple again, blinking when she felt them caress the skin, eyes widening slightly when she realised they moved, as if to smooth away the lines that had caused her such horror before. Accompanied by his trademark open smile, the sheer sweetness had her torn between melting into a puddle and kissing him soundly, propriety be damned. Who would have thought Jiraiya could be so...well, adorable?

The tableau was broken by a loud rumble, and Tsunade flushed brilliantly. He laughed, sitting back on his feet and holding up the bag from Ichiraku. Another bright grin, and his voice rumbled with amusement.

"Can't have a hungry, sleepy princess now, can we? The world might explode."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I own the poem. That's all I own (I want Jiraiya-sama for Christmas though! )

**Summary Notes: **And finally, right on Christmas Day over my way, I get inspiration for Whispers of Memory. Or rather, I get inspiration for something that isn't angsty and leaving me choked up. Merry Christmas to you all, and do enjoy this one!

**Inspiration: **"And through it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong and down that waterfall, wherever it may take me, I know that life won't fail me. When I come to call, she won't forsake me – I'm loving an angel…" - Robbie Williams

"And all I want from this angel - is a kiss on Christmas Eve." - Unknown

--------

"Happy Christmas, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

Tsunade couldn't help but smile softly at the kid's affectionate well-wishing. Exuberant as ever, the impending threat of Akatsuki, the fact that he was walking – or hobbling out – on Sakura's shoulder did not diminish Naruto's exuberant spirit, doubled ten-fold by the season.

"Don't eat too much, squirt. I'm not going to nurse you through indigestion."

Her response was a big, wickedly innocent grin, so like his perverted ero-sensei that it made Tsunade chuckle even as she felt the clench of disappointment and longing; she'd didn't have many people to celebrate Christmas with, not really. All of the shinobi, including her assistants, had people to spend the festive season with (though Naruto had invited her to spend it with him and his team), and the one person she wouldn't have minded sharing it with was not here. Her baka had been kept away longer than was expected on a mission, and wouldn't be home in time for Christmas Day.

She left the hospital and trudged down Konoha's roads, smiling pleasantly in reply to the calls of "Merry Christmas, Hokage-sama!" and "Good will to you!". It was cold and snowy out – there'd no doubt be a snowstorm tonight, just perfect for Christmas. It was slightly depressing to know she'd be watching it alone – though sake always solved the problem there, hangover on Christmas Day be damned – and Tsunade heaved a sigh as she entered the slightly warmer Hokage tower, her breath exhaling in a white mist, cheeks and nose tinted pink from the icy weather.

Upon entering her large – and rather draughty – office, Tsunade made a beeline for the drawer behind her desk, intent on warming her hands around a cup of sake, only to pause and blink in surprise at the letter on her desk. Her eyes immediately traced the bold scrawl of Jiraiya's handwriting. Ah, that baka. She couldn't fault him for laziness when it came to correspondence professionally (and personally). Turning away from the snow falling out the window, and forcing herself to not appear too eager, she gently peeled the envelope open with one red fingernail. Turning the letter over and upside down, she frowned in confusion at the writing in the middle of the page, complete with a horribly drawn frog in what looked like a Santa hat.

_*The lights be merry_

_Bright and pretty_

_Like little angel fae_

_Yet not a thousand of them could ever compare_

_To the golden light of Heaven_

_That is you and your sweet smile*_

_Hope this helps you feel a little warmer this Christmas_

_All my love,_

_Baka-chan_

That old pervert. Tsunade chuckled softly at the pure fluff of the poem, vainly rubbing at the prickling in her eyes. God, she was getting old if she was letting something like that get to her. Biting her lip, she scanned the message again, narrowing her eyes in confusion and curiousity at the sentence preceding the poem.

_Hope this helps you feel a little warmer this Christmas._

What on earth did he mean by that? Shaking her head, Tsunade snorted quietly at the old coot's ambiguity, only to freeze at the breath of air against the skin below her ear. She inhaled in disbelief as she felt, rather than heard, the warm chuckle against her neck, and her eyes widened as strong hands rested lightly against her hips.

"I'm sorry, I was looking for an old hag, 'bout my age," Jiraiya rumbled teasingly in her ear, "But I could swear you're an angel from the golden light of Heaven. My apologies."

Tsunade's cheeks warmed at the compliment, all but purred as it was in that rich, warm voice.

"You old sap!" she half-yelled, half-laughed, turning so fast on her feet that Jiraiya barely had time to brace himself as she threw her arms around his neck. Jiraiya laughed heartily, arms wrapping around her waist and swinging her around, knocking an ink bottle off her desk in the process. Still grinning that wickedly innocent grin, he kissed a stray tear from her cheek, before murmuring against her lips,

"Happy Christmas, Hime."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I…don't own Jiraiya. I don't even own a piece of his hair. How depressing.

**Summary Notes: **Sorry for making anyone who's still reading for waiting so long! Life decided to intervene, and then my muse had one of its ape-crazy phases where it KNOWS what it wants to write, but can't get it down. From here on though, I'm going to TRY and delve into the more angsty…I have about six angsty memories. Don't worry, I'll put a few happier ones in there though! How could I not, when the Pervy Sage is such a fixture in so many of Tsunade-chan's memories, neh? Depending on how frequently I can write/update/muse, I'll probably finish this before I start my final year of school, and maybe try and focus on some other ideas I've had.

**Inspiration: **No actual song, more the notion of refusing to believe Tsunade would be heartless enough to leave her best friend for dead, even after beating him within an inch of his life in a blind rage.

--------

The monitor beeped, a loud, ominous sound in the tense stillness of the hospital room. The sun was slowly setting, bathing the room in a warm glow and dancing warmly across the fine-boned features of the young woman as she sat on the window sill.

She barely noticed the beauty of it all; her amber eyes riveted on the large form sprawled along the cot bed, her features twisted with silent anguish and uncertainty, and above all, guilt. How could she have done this? What the hell had possessed her to…do this, to her best friend? What had driven her to such anger?

She'd caught him peeping, that much she remembered. She hadn't been all that shocked, to be honest. Her best friend was a self-proclaimed pervert after all. She thumped him soundly for it every so often, but never bad enough to land him in hospital.

To nearly _kill _him.

Tsunade bit her lip, her hands reaching up to cover her face and run through her tousled hair before they came to rest on her forehead. The position afforded her a view of Jiraiya's arm, wrapped up in a cast. That she hadn't been able to heal; she'd nearly exhausted her chakra healing the numerous injuries she'd inflicted on him that were more grievous than the arm.

_I'm the worst kind of bitch. What kind of a person tries to kill their friend for something as stupid as that?_

Tsunade grit her teeth. She didn't know why she'd reacted so badly, even for her. Or maybe she just didn't want to know why. She just knew she'd seen white-hot and blinding red, and before she'd even realised what she'd done, the rage had burned away, leaving her to stare in horror at her teammate.

"_Jiraiya? Jiraiya, that isn't funny. Get up, you dummy!"_

_No response and her hands flew to her mouth in horror as he coughed up blood. Oh, god. Tsunade didn't think twice as she shouted out for help, before falling on her teammate, hands a frantic blue as she fought to undo the damage she had created._

"_Baka-chan! Don't you dare die!" _

Tsunade choked back a sob, gripping her hair so hard it hurt. Raising her head, she grit her teeth, wiping at her eyes in anger even as she slid to the ground, hugging her knees like she has a genin as her eyes resumed their watch on the sleeping form of her friend.

_Oh, god, Jiraiya, please don't be angry with me. I'll never hit you again, I swear! I'm sorry…__I'm so sorry…_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Jiraiya would magically appear to help kick some ass in the Battle of Konoha.

**Summary Notes: **I know I'm taking forever to update, but though I have ideas, my brain is normally pickled to death by senior year. That, and I have all these other non-related Whispers ideas to get down too. But here's some odd humour for you.

**Inspiration: **My Ancient History class. No, seriously, don't ask. You don't want to know. All you need to know is that much of what we get up to reminds me of what Jiraiya and Tsunade might have gotten up to in their younger days (apart from the flirt-factor, I just added that because I like playing with the whole MST (mondo-load of sexual tension) between them.

------

Undercover missions were a bitch, in Tsunade's experience (all twenty one years of it, mind you). On one hand, you had the danger factor of being…well…uncovered. On the other hand, you had the stress of preparing for it - working with your partner until you were a unit of do-no-wrong perfection. And, to add to that, there was the stress of creating a believable identity to hide behind.

Not that that teamwork part was a problem. Though it killed Tsunade's pride to admit it, she could not ask for a better partner in Jiraiya. Friends since their academy days, team mates through their genin days - no one could predict Tsunade's thoughts and moves and sync themselves better to her than Jiraiya could. Orochimaru probably could if he tried, but said so called genius was currently tied up - quite literally - in hospital. His fault; he shouldn't have told his little student brat to pretend he was some rapist on the sly and attack him with her kunai (on the flipside, they now knew to watch out for Anko's bloodthirsty tendencies in the future). Still, having Jiraiya around wasn't so bad. Even when they bickered, she always knew he'd back her up later on. Besides, he had a way of making stressful jobs fun.

Like creating a name for their undercover mission.

"How about Orgasma Shichi?"

Tsunade swiped at her fellow jounin, though she was pulled up short due to her position on the floor. She settled for glaring at him from where he now lounged against the low table of the Hokage's guest room (one of many, but Jiraiya seemed fond of this one for some reason unknown to her), even as her lips twitched in suppressed amusement.

"Shut up and be serious, pervert. Or I'll leave you and go ask Orochimaru for help instead."

"You wouldn't _dare _leave me for Oro-uke. You _need _my awesome macho-ness of awesomeness."

"Your _what_? Wait, don't bother repeating it. And I'm going to tell Orochimaru you said that."

"Pfft, like he'd care. I call him that all the time." Jiraiya shrugged and grinned. "You're just never around when I do."

Tsunade snorted and tapped the paper in front of her pointedly. "Ideas, baka. Preferably of a non-sexual nature."

"We've been at this for _hours, _Tsu-chan," Jiraiya whined, giving her his infamous kicked puppy expression. She was unmoved though, and he sighed before crawling over and sitting cross-legged beside her, his hand straying towards the dip of her back. Tsunade slapped half-heartedly at the calloused fingers tickling her skin, and Jiraiya pouted before looking over her shoulder at the paper she'd been scribbling on.

"So what have we got?" he asked, eyeing the list she had come up with. There wasn't many, to be honest: Maruyama Naomi, Imai Kuro, Dobashi Atsuko…to name a few. Jiraiya regarded the list for long moments.

"Why don't we try mixing names? Like…Maruyama Sakura?"

"Ugh, too flowery. Hm…Imai Yoshi?"

Jiraiya wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Sounds like a monk's name. How about…" he smirked, "Dobashi _Koharu_?"

"_What? _I refuse to share the same name as that hag, under any circumstances." Tsunade sniffed, tossing her head haughtily. Jiraiya smiled, pleased with the reaction. Unfortunately, Tsunade caught it, and proceeded to splutter.

"Ji-Jiraiya, that's not-" Tsunade broke off then, before she smirked in a manner he was wary of, with good reason. "How about Jiji?"

"Oh ha, fuuunny."

Tsunade grinned smugly as he scowled. "Oh lighten up, _Jiji-kun."_ She petted him on the head in mock comfort before glancing back at the paper. Sighing, Tsunade shook her head.

"You know, now I think I know why my grandfathers stopped talking to each other," she said.

Jiraiya gave her a curious look, and she shrugged.

"This whole name thing. I remember my mother telling me that I was named Tsunade by _her _father, Shodai to you. Apparently though, my father's father wanted to call me Suki, for some odd, unknown reason."

Jiraiya sputtered with laughter. "_Suki?_"

"Yeah, shut up, I know it's bad."

"Sounds like a pet name someone would come up with during sex."

Tsunade laughed, pushing him lightly. "As if. Only you'd turn it into something perverted, Baka."

"And you're thinking of it in exactly the same context as of now, Hime."

"Am not!"

"Are _too. _You can't help but think of it because I mentioned it. If it makes you feel any better though…" Tsunade muffled a squeak when she heard; or rather felt the closeness of his voice in her ear, "I'd just call you _hime."_

Her cheeks warmed, but Tsunade hid the effect he'd had in catching her off her guard by laughing wryly and shoving Jiraiya away so that he skidded a few inches to the side. Rolling onto his back, Jiraiya tilted his head up to give her an upside down grin of both lechery and mischief, causing Tsunade to snort. Rolling her eyes, she rose to a kneeling position, tugging the strands of silver hair roughly over his eyes when he pouted at the sudden loss of view - or more precisely, the glimpse of cleavage he'd been provided with from his new position. Another snort and Tsunade stood, holding a hand out for him.

"We're not getting anywhere with this. I say we leave it and come back later."

"My, my, this is a first. The great Tsunade-hime shirking her duties?"

"Oh ha ha. Fuuunny."

"I thought so. You up for grabbing some dinner and sake, _Suki-chan?_"

"Only if _Jiji-kun's _paying."


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Naruto. Do not own. Will go mourn.**

**Summary Notes: I somehow managed something between exam revision. Okay, I admit, I stole it off something else I was doing, which I'll hopefully have up and finished tomorrow...and then I can delude myself into thinking putting this snippet of it up will entice people to read Never Let You Go when I finish it after I do Geography.**

_----_

"Nyah-nyah, can't catch me, Tsunade-hi-yeouch!"

"What was that, baka?"

"Uh...rape! RAPE! RAAAAPE!"

Tsunade stared incredulously at her friend - turned prey - turned apparent rape victim, trying vainly to keep her anger in place so that she could pummel the hell out of him for being a pervert and slapping her behind again during a sparring match. Stupid baka, he didn't know when to quit pushing his luck.

Unfortunately, it was rather difficult to stay angry when he was...well...being a drama queen and screaming random crap like that. So much so, that the whole situation seemed hilariously laughable. And when he peered out over his arms from their protective position, the trapped deer look was enough for her to indeed burst into laughter. When he stared incredulously at her for that, she only giggled harder, sitting back.

"Uh...hime?" Jiraiya asked tentatively.

"What?" she said, still chuckling. Jiraiya shrugged one shoulder, blushing faintly as he did so.

"You might wanna get off me."

"Why? No one's around." The oh so innocent words were out of her mouth before she could think about them, and taking stock of the situation, it was Tsunade's turn to blush slightly. Curse the teenage mind, she groused mentally. She'd attacked Jiraiya heaps of times, and they'd ended up like this, but it was only now that she realised just how...provocative and...wrong, it would probably look these days if Orochimaru or someone witnessed the sight of Jiraiya flat on the ground with her straddling him, beating him or not. Well, maybe not Orochimaru; he was familiar enough with the antics of his comrades to barely bat an eyelid when they started on each other.

Jiraiya seemed to be thinking somewhat along the same lines, but unlike her, he was a bit more blunt. And a pervert-in-training at that, so it was with a slight smile and the most mischievous glint that Jiraiya informed her of the consequences involved with sitting on him in such a way for prolonged periods of time. Or tried to; it was a bit hard when you were somewhere between restraining your hormones and choking on laughter.

"Well...I'm a guy, hime," he drawled, watching with a sort of sadistic pleasure as she began to redden, "A teenage guy. Crappy hormones and a-" he broke off when she finally comprended, laughing so hard he nearly passed out when she scrambled off of him. Blushing hotly, Tsunade glared at him from where she now sat beside him, slapping him reproachfully. His laughter was infectious though, and despite herself, Tsunade found herself unconsciously committing the whole scene to memory.


End file.
